He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
