Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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