I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The uberlube is also flammable
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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