Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
