Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
