Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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