3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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