It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wish I only lived at night.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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