People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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