I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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