nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
