Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
