do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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