obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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