ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I hate all girls vehemently.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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