No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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