wat bout pragnant strippers??
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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