Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
