Only a mothe r could love this liver
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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