Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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