I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
