just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
