the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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