I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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