Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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