Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
