Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
