Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
