Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
