this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
