i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
