Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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