Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
