I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
