puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
