she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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