I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
