You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
