Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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