Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
