I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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