Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
