I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
