Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
