We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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