Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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