Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
