Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
