im about as happy as oj after his trial
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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