just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
