did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize