Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
