I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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