Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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