Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
