i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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