? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
