I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You know, be my cock's hype man.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
