just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize