I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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