So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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