So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
