do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
