Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
