So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't think brook has ever known best
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
