so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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