I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
