I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
