Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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