I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
ugly people sure do ruin things
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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