Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
